The Convent - Finale
Thursday 6th July
Well, the BBC’s short The Convent series has now finished, and I have a feeling of disappointment and … well, a lack of closure. It seems to have run very differently than The Monastery in interesting ways.
Firstly, and probably most importantly, the discipline of some of the attendees was diabolical and downright rude in places. I found this strange because Franciscans (the nuns) are supposedly much more strict than Benedictines (the monks). However, it seemed that they were less able, or less willing to bring the visitors into line - I think maybe if you have chosen to live a Franciscan life, you have an in-built desire to join the discipline. Sure, it’ll be difficult, but your desire to live the life influences you perhaps more than the peer pressure from your community.
The Benedictine monks on the other hand, quickly complained at the lack of discipline in the visitors and within a short space of time, they were all living the life as closely as they could. It was a rare occasion if a service or meeting was missed, whereas in the convent, it seemed to be the norm.
In the final episode, two of the visitors escaping the enclosure to visit the pub just took the biscuit for me. They didn’t benefit as much as they could have done from the experience, one of them even demonstrating some extreme frustration that it wasn’t clicking. Well, maybe if she’d done her best to join in the community, something more would have happened. Disappointing.
It was obvious that the cost to the nuns of having visitors (both emotional and material cost) was great, and they seemed far more put-out than the monks at Worth ever did. As I have suggested before, it’s just so difficult to tell whether the differences were due to the Female/Male difference, the Franciscan/Benedictine difference or something else.
It seems that at the end of the forty days, none of the women in the Convent had really got anywhere. They had started their journeys but still didn’t really have anything sorted out at the end of the time. In the Monastery, it pretty much seemed that they’d all come somewhere, and had a good grip on where to go from here. The activity of the last few days in the Convent was that which was happening in the first week or so of the Monastery.
So… disappointment.
But, what was more disappointing was the fact that the nuns were musing whether the conduct and rudeness of the four ladies (to one degree or another) was indicative of the population at large. I would hope it isn’t the case, but who knows? I’m also disappointed that the nuns, while portrayed as loving, kind people, didn’t seem to wield any authority over the visitors. Maybe they could have provided more guidance or discipline - it seems to me they were basically walked over, and I find that disappointing on several levels.
I do have to add, though, that as with the monks in the Monastery, each of the individual nuns shone as a fine example of a human with a loving heart and amazing wisdom and insight. So w00t for the nuns!
If anyone saw the series, I’d love to hear your opinions on the matter…
I saw some of the series, and was disappointed that the women weren’t even trying to adapt - they seemed to want everything handed to them with no effort on their part. I didn’t see the last episode - as it said in the paper, it didn’t didn’t go out with a bang, but a wimple.
JG
6 Jul 06 at 1:46 pm
Wimple. Tee hee
Yeah… I’ll say it again… disappointing.
stu
6 Jul 06 at 1:49 pm
My great Aunt was a nun. When I ate at her convent (in Bethnal Green), the food was dire. Maybe that’s what upset them?
Lordhutton
6 Jul 06 at 1:57 pm
If I say that a lot of people miss appointments or are late without worrying, or are rude and impolite does that make me old?
sarah
6 Jul 06 at 1:59 pm
Nope… they definitely said that the meals were one of the things they looked forward to, Hutters.
And Sarah… no, I don’t think it makes you old. But it does possibly put you in the minority. Or maybe this is one of those cases where you don’t notice all the people who keep appointments, but do notice the few who don’t.
stu
6 Jul 06 at 2:12 pm
I reckon it all went downhill with Maria in the Sound of Music.
Anyway, nice analysis of the proggy - I wish I’d watched it now.
Are you going to do a Big Brother update?
rich
6 Jul 06 at 2:14 pm
Yeah… I need to name some more Big Brother housemates so I don’t just get Shahbaz Chaudhry and Nikki’s fig problem in my referer logs.
stu
6 Jul 06 at 2:20 pm
I’m not sure. It takes long enough to get someone to arrange an appointment without them saying “I’ve got your mobile number”, and then they turn out to be useless. Bah!
Where’s my knitting ;o)
sarah
6 Jul 06 at 2:22 pm
These are the sorts of programmes that I wish I had watched. Nuns have always fascinated me. But we’re teleless so I didn’t even know they were on.
As for Sarah’s comments, we’re in a minority of two then. I hate being late for anything and fume inside when I hold a door open for someone and they brush straight past. Pleases and thankyous take such little effort and cost nothing. Okay, okay…. I AM getting old.
Trouty
6 Jul 06 at 3:00 pm
I insist that you start printing T-shirts with “w00t for the nuns” written on them.
Sam
6 Jul 06 at 3:07 pm
If I could find a t-shirt printer who didn’t use that crappy heat-transfer rubbish which falls off after one wash, I’d probably take you up on that.
stu
6 Jul 06 at 3:23 pm
What type face do you want?
ned
6 Jul 06 at 3:43 pm
That’s three of us oldies then. I dislike bad manners, especially those displayed by car drivers who one has just let out/in without so much as a cursory wave of thanks in reply.
Jenny
6 Jul 06 at 7:12 pm
Bad Manners were great!
Lip up fatty etc etc
rich
6 Jul 06 at 7:13 pm
If you will pardon my interuption….
I too miss the old days when please and thank you were common place.
Those times when if someone went through a door in front of you they would look back and keep it held a second longer for you to grab, rather than slamming it in your face…
Those times when everyone let one car in so that all junctions ran smoothly.
And as for smoking…..HELLO I AM TRYING TO BREATH HERE!!!!
But then being “over thirty” I probably class as old anyway.
As for the program, I have to wonder……Perhaps men are just naturally used to being told what to do? (What’s that dear?)
Oh well thank you for your time.
Goodbye.
“This blog note was brought to you by Help the Aged, and SAGA holidays”
Grom
7 Jul 06 at 2:24 am
Definite lack of politeness in this day and age! But rest assured, the Germans (I am a frequent traveller to the Vaterland) are worse. You accidentially bump into one in the supermarket and in the UK they would at least both say ‘oh, sorry’ (wether that’s sincere or not, is another matter). The German will simply give you a nasty look.
As for timeliness - I hate being late or letting people down (hard to believe, I know), but in the more recent past have been doing this rather too much for my liking. I blame a lot on my shit job, which has to change soon.!!
Oh, and then for the nuns-programm, which this blog is actually about, I didn’t watch it, but agree with rich, that now having read your comments, I wish I had.
Kika
7 Jul 06 at 7:25 am
Appointments? whu? Is that a comment jack?
Level of politeness is simply an indication of how recently you could be shot, hanged, or have your head cut off for disrespecting the wrong person. Germans have an aggressive yet cheerful disposition that means they can all cut each other up on the roads and push in the queues and there’s no need to apologise cos it’s just what happens. Saves an awful lot of time “and another thinging” when you could be getting on with other stuff…
I think this also ties in to the monks v nuns issue, as males are less reluctant to be confrontational. If a monk doesn’t like a persons behaviour, he is more likely to think “if that person changed their behaviour we would get on better” whereas a nun is more likely to think “oh dear, I’m not getting on with this person, I wonder what I’m doing wrong?”
Not all confrontation is bad, at least given the choice between a confrontation and a life feud, I’d take the confrontation.
sweavo
7 Jul 06 at 1:45 pm
yes.Its an odd one.Its been about three weeks since the last programme of The Convent was aired and i’m still thinking about it.I am wondering why i got so irritated by the spoilt atheist/bohemian timewaster and the careerist compartamentalizing ‘i want it now!’ business woman.
Perhaps their juvenile behaviour was being reflected back at me that(boozing/rebelling) is how i personally handled or escaped from deep-rooted personal issues in the past also-BUT only AFTER I had sincerely thrown myself into sobriety self-help?philosophy/psychology/buddhism/taoism/overexercising!).
Its an interesting/important question.What is the point of one’s existence..what is happiness?does it even exist?..How can we control and manage the ego..how can we be truthful to ourselves?How the hell do we find this peace that proves so elusive in this controlling capitalist world-can it only arise from detachment and living in a bubble?/-is that not paradoxical if we are trying to find the inter connectedness of all human life?or contradictory to socialist ideals?I had so many questions!..And none of them were even remotely touched upon in this series because the resistance(why bother going on the bloody programme?????I would have taken a stab at it!)was so high.I only liked one or two of the women-the mother who was abandoned as a child-who was really the only person to charge at herself in self-analysis and the young soul singer-perhaps because of her effrevescent youth-struggled to get past the first stage of silence+solitude(at least she tried and entrtained us with idiosyncratic infectious humour!)..
BUT!! the other two made me feel totally un-christian-like(and im not even a christian/or religeous).They were grown-up women who really belonged in big brother.Newsflash-trying to’rebel’at that age is not becoming!NOT when you’ve signed up for the experiment!It was pretty pathetic behaviour-they just came across as complete spoilt brats(obviously doted on as children)but what was really irritating was that they had NOTHING interesting/illuminating to say.The business woman came out saying that yes she had achieved something-she wasn’t sure what(!) and that she would now be researching which religeon would suit her-like Edina from AbFab shopping for a new coat(!) and this was AFTER she played Cruella Deville to the vunerable woman with the abandonment issues because she wouldn’t take the blessing at mass!I mean a total prat or what?how does one explain the word ‘humility’to a woman like that!(perhaps an episode of mork+mindy,where they also explain the concept of’soul’).They really squandered their time in there and i just wish they had been honest about it-but i suppose that would be like asking a shallow person to be deep.
I also watched the Monastery and unlike this series it moved me.I felt that the men really knuckled down(even the most superficial egoistic ones)and were prepared and AT LEAST had the courage to ask pertinent questions.
The most moving moment for me,was when the young man who worked in the soft porn industry-with a drink-problem history was given a stone by his mentor-monk(for moments of weakness).I don’t know what that did to me-was it the genuine love shown by another human being?was it hope?(that religeon doesn’t have to mean war)was it just because we were witnessing a powerless man being honest about his powerlessness?totally emotionally naked-but with all dignity intact-and the ego nowhere to be seen-how is that possible??I believe i wept..whatever that young man felt-i felt it too.
Maybe this man and the mother in the convent came across as beautiful to me because in many ways they were the most lost or maybe not the most lost-but the most humble about it.they were the most sincere.they were flawed but had such tremendous courage to face themselves that they gave us as viewers a precious glimpse of how self-acceptance can be achieved and how it can look like.beautiful.
maybe the programme-makers should bear this in mind and select more discriminately and wisely in any forthcoiming series…
val
25 Jul 06 at 10:10 am
Thanks, Val, for your excellent comments.
stu
25 Jul 06 at 10:44 am
Hi Stu,
Someone had emailed me about your blog and the comments on ‘The Convent’ BBC2.
You may not recognise my name but I am Debi ireland, the mother and infamous wailing woman of Scotland that entered the Convent for the documentory. I congratulate you on raising comments on the programme, it is always good to hear what everyones thoughts are, good and bad.
I was especially interested from comments from Val, and immensley touched that she could see past all the tears and the upset to perhaps gain a better insight into the root of my issues. Especially the final episode, humility was at the very root of my pain. I have of course been slated by the media for my endless sobbing and condemmed as a mother for leaving my child, my five year old son , Jamie.
The pain of my parents rejection, years of bullying, and a disjointed and traumtic circumstances ,(not divulged in the programme), finally led me to take this last chance to find some sense of self acceptance and indeed self esteem. I entered the Convent and the experience, as I do with everything I take on, with 100% effort and committment. To do less would have made a mockery on my husband and family’s efforts, the dear Sisters, my children, and above all myself. Yes I cried and was greatly distressed, reliving the hell of the six weeks of my childhood brought me to emotioanl collapse. I was totally broken by the whole experience. But, through the breakdown, came break through, and with the meditative prayer, the advice and guidance from the Sisters, the 5.00am rises and early prayer, the thought of my family and little boy, I came through it with a renewed soul.
Sister Clare Agnes is MUM to me now. We email almost everyday and we have visited each other when we can. I have been back to the Convent several times and aim to go again to stay in the summer. In my blog I cover my thoughts and feelings during the transmission of the programme and my life since. You will see how far I have come and how much the experience has helped me.
I was IMMENSLEY priveledged to have the opportunity to be healed, It was not something and will never be something i will ever be able to take for granted. I have come a long way scince the programme, I can now enjoy my littles boy’s arms around me and accept his love without going away to quietly cry, I can laugh and play with him and not stop myself just short of absolute joy. It has made the job I do with children so much more fufilling, and I now help children to find their own sense of self and self acceptance.
Please pass on my regards to all your friends you were kind enough to share their views and I wish you all well.
Kindest regards
Debi Ireland
http://www.majikbunnie.blogspot.com
Debi Ireland
21 Feb 08 at 5:24 pm