Fine Balance
Thursday 1st March
Ok, here’s the deal: it hurts when I pee. It’s only to be expected, I guess. The official advice is to drink lots of fluid (but not acidic drinks for obvious reasons), because concentrated urine will hurt far more than dilute.
So, how do I balance fluid intake to obtain the optimum compromise between number of peas and pain per pea? I’d draw a graph and take detailed readings of ouch-factor, but apparantly it’ll stop doing it within a day or so.
oooh nasty;-(
Lordhutton
1 Mar 07 at 10:29 am
Have you tried a bit of anesthetic spray on it.
On second thoughts… Ow!
Rollasoc
rollasoc
1 Mar 07 at 10:33 am
Deep Heat?
rich
1 Mar 07 at 10:38 am
Heh… there’s a funny story about deep heat.
When the piercer shot the lignocaine up my urethra I was meant to go “AAARGH!”, but in fact I went “*gasp* MMmmmmmmmmmmm! Warm! Tingly!” He said that wasn’t the normal reaction, and I said it was no worse than deep heat. He called me a pervert. I had to concede.
stu
1 Mar 07 at 10:43 am
*shudders*
JG
1 Mar 07 at 10:47 am
I’ve had a related experience to your deep heat story with Tiger Balm. That is nasty stuff.
I’m shaking my head as I type this (it makes it difficult to find the keys). I can’t believe that you did it. I’ve got Bondage Body Bag John’s number if you want to hook up.
Kouros
1 Mar 07 at 12:35 pm
It sounds like cystitis. Drink loads of cranberry juice - that stops the nasty bacteria from sticking to your bowel. Buy some ‘Cymalon’ for the chemist. If this fails see your doctor quickly as if it doesn’t clear up the infection can travel up to the kidneys and then it gets more serious. Hope you have a speedy recovery.
sue
1 Mar 07 at 1:10 pm
Have you been keeping up, sue? There’s a _very_ good reason for the pain, and it’s not cystitis
I had to laugh… as I came out of the loo cubicle at work after a particularly … concentrated wee, I noticed the tin of air freshener. Cranberry flavour!
stu
1 Mar 07 at 1:31 pm
*still can’t get her head around it. Whywhywhywhywhy??????
Claire
1 Mar 07 at 1:43 pm
My head’s around it. Heh. And it’s around my head.
stu
1 Mar 07 at 1:46 pm
Stu. Corner. Now.
Kouros
1 Mar 07 at 2:22 pm
“I’ve had a related experience to your deep heat story with Tiger Balm. That is nasty stuff.”
I think we should find out which is worse.
stu
1 Mar 07 at 2:25 pm
THANKS FOR SHARING
sweavo
1 Mar 07 at 2:28 pm
Have you actually had some kind of premature mid-life crisis, or is this all stuff that’s been bottled up for years?
Kouros
1 Mar 07 at 2:39 pm
Hehe. I think it’s been bottled. And fermenting.
stu
1 Mar 07 at 2:42 pm
I have no sympathy. You brought it upon yourself.
*sniggers*
Lisa
1 Mar 07 at 3:00 pm
I’ve done the Tiger Balm thing too, Kouros.
rich
1 Mar 07 at 3:50 pm
I’m feeling left out now…
/pootles off to buy tiger balm
stu
1 Mar 07 at 3:56 pm
It has just occurred to me that you share less photos on your blog than you used to. Considering the current level, I’m quite glad.
Kouros
1 Mar 07 at 5:18 pm
Haha… I’ve already had requests to show photos. And indeed I’ve already taken photos. Tastefully presenting them, however, appears to be the problem.
stu
1 Mar 07 at 5:28 pm
Incidentally, my strategy has been LOTS of VERY DILUTE peas and I think I’m winning. Though don’t worry… I haven’t been drinking so much that I expire.
stu
1 Mar 07 at 5:31 pm
What’s going to happen when you go to schweeeden? Are the airport scanners going to pick it up?! They *sometimes* pick up the metal plate in my wrist…
loretta
1 Mar 07 at 5:42 pm
I’ll either show them my nob to prove it’s not a dangerous weapon (pfft!), or I could wear PTFE jewellery for the trip.
stu
1 Mar 07 at 6:08 pm
Puts a whole new meaning on the word “stud” doesn’t it!? Just make sure you don’t wear “drops”!
Aoj
1 Mar 07 at 6:24 pm
I do hope it was a competent professional who did the deed. You wouldn’t want a meatotomy on your hands (so to speak).
Kouros
1 Mar 07 at 9:00 pm
Djoo know, you could go for a tattoo next. I found the prefect design for you:
http://www.omally.co.uk/images/tattoo.jpg.
Omally
1 Mar 07 at 9:11 pm
Perfect, Mallers!
:D
JG
1 Mar 07 at 9:59 pm
Nice one Mally,
I’ll go and explain things to Mrs H… I just hope that I have got things right myself
*goes and checks Stu’s previous blogs*
Mr Hedgehog
1 Mar 07 at 10:20 pm
I have the perfect solution. Chop your weiner off. Hey, it worked for that Bobbit guy. You never heard about his pee hurting.
plume
1 Mar 07 at 10:33 pm
Kouros: yes, don’t worry. I’ve bene researching for 10 years, I found a highly recommended studio. They use a 2.5mm ring so you don’t get the ‘cheesewire effect’.
Omally: You are officially a git
Mr H: In case you are in any doubt, I had a titanium ring stuck through the end of my nob yesterday.
Plume: I think you might have a very good idea there… I’ll try it and report back.
stu
1 Mar 07 at 10:58 pm
Is this the place where I say - I’VE SEEN IT ! ?
Unexpectedly attractive, I have to say . Not sure what I expected, but it looks very normal, almost like a pierced ear. It’s just jewlery in an unusual place. Well done, Stu!
I’m off to bed. Let’s see what my subconscience makes of it all…
Kika
1 Mar 07 at 11:04 pm
So you’re saying you’re attracted to my unusual willy?
stu
1 Mar 07 at 11:12 pm
It’s probably more the unusual mind that made you have an unusual willy, but you are almost right..
Kika
2 Mar 07 at 10:03 am
So now you’re saying I’m a deformed loony? Charming!
stu
2 Mar 07 at 10:20 am
SARONG!
boo
2 Mar 07 at 11:56 am