Cheese Substitute
Friday 14th September
I always thought phrases like “Cheese Substitute” were used purely facetiously for what is, essentially, poor-quality cheese. But it seems not. It seems that it’s real…
I didn’t dare look what it actually did consist of.
Toe-nail clippings?
John
14 Sep 07 at 2:17 pm
Looks like shavings of lard to me.
Hummmmm Lard. It never goes out of fashion.
rollasoc
14 Sep 07 at 2:28 pm
Lard? You think they use something that pure?
stu
14 Sep 07 at 2:40 pm
SUBSTITUTE???? this is heresy, cheese the second finest invention of man (after Lego) should not be sullied in the name of cost savings.
Yours sincerely, disgruntled and unamused of London
ps. I’m off to urinate in Tesco’s fridges, back in a bit.
flibble
14 Sep 07 at 2:55 pm
I find myself compelled to agree about the “models built out of lego® bricks” thing*.
(* this site is in no way affiliated with the Lego® Group)
stu
14 Sep 07 at 3:01 pm
Reading Flibble’s comment, I thought, “Ooh that sounds just like Uncle Cheese Pirate”. And then I looked at the name and realised that was because it was Uncle Cheese Pirate.
Fran's Sleep-Deprived
14 Sep 07 at 3:34 pm
Haha… Uncle Cheese Pirate. Heh.
stu
14 Sep 07 at 4:24 pm
There are many fine substitutes for cheese. For example, if you are laying a foundation for a large road-bridge, concrete is a great substitute for cheese. If you are planning on etching a printed circuit board, ferric chloride is a good substitute for cheese. If you are regretting becoming a parent, you might try dairylea in the child’s lunchbox, which is legally a foodstuff despite having no actual food in it. The VALUE GRATED pictured is probably great for melting down and forming into small model forts, boulders, etc.
sweavo
14 Sep 07 at 5:00 pm
Yet another reason to not shop at supermarkets, specifically Tesco’s.
Kouros
14 Sep 07 at 5:16 pm
Tescos smell.
Rich
14 Sep 07 at 5:54 pm
Dog’s milk cheese.
Actually I have a friend who speaks at length te techical propblems of making Whale cheese, but that’s for slow blogging day
Max
14 Sep 07 at 6:29 pm
Mozzarella isnt even proper cheese, so it is a substitute for a substitute egad
lordhutton
14 Sep 07 at 8:43 pm
Gasp! Heresy! Mozzerella SO IS real cheese. Mmmmm! Yummo!
stu
14 Sep 07 at 8:48 pm
Goat cheese, anyone?
Debster
15 Sep 07 at 1:10 am
Yes please, Debster. I wonder if sheep cheese could be considered goat cheese substitute, since sheep are of course a weak substitute for goats? Hmm.
How do goats make cheese anyway, they can’t work the machinery can they?!
plume
15 Sep 07 at 11:24 pm
Plume: yes, it’s a little known fact that goats can be trained to run the cheese making equipment. They can be very clever with their tiny, little hooves.
Debster
16 Sep 07 at 8:20 pm
Point of order: “Cheese substitute” is actually Tesco being coy, and refraining from using the industry standard expression “cheese analogue”. I kid you not - http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=cheese+analogue
Please feel free to bomb Tesco any time you like.
Jay
19 Sep 07 at 9:00 pm
Cheese Analogue? Yum!
stu
20 Sep 07 at 10:48 pm