First, a map:

And then a little story…

1. Arrive at gym with H.

2. Walk from reception R to changing - gents GC and ladies LC.

3. Put swimming kit and change of clothes into locker, I can only surmise that H does approximately the same.

4. Go from changing room to workout area WO. H walks past pool window to do so. I have already walked past pool window.

5. Do workout.

It’s all going good so far, yes?

6. Do weights.

7. Go back into changing room. I go straight to GC. I do not pass pool, I do not collect £200. H passes the pool.

Still going well… but how come you keep mentioning the window to the pool?

8. Change into swimming kit.

9. Go into showers.

10. Have shower.

11. Head from showers towards pool. There is a door from the back of each changing room directly into the pool…

Hooray! Nothing can go wrong.

12. Read sign on pool door: “POOL CLOSED”

Oh bum.

13. Go back towards changing room.

14. Remember that one must dry oneself before entering changing room.

15. Go back to shower cubicle.

16. Dry off.

17. Dress, pack bag, leave changing room to go meet H in reception since the pool is clearly closed.

18. Walk from GC to reception R passing pool window.

19. See H swimming merrily around in the pool - but looking slightly confused as to why it’s taking me so long to change into my swimming kit.

Ah. Um…

20. Visit reception for explanation.

21. Have sheepish receptionist explain “Oh yes… it isn’t closed but we forgot to take the sign down”

22. Offer to take sign down on my way into pool.

23. Go back to changing room, unpack kit, change, blah blah blah.

24. And back to the pool, taking the sign down on the way. And also, accidentally, the “You must shower before you enter the pool” sign whose glue was slightly weaker than the “Pool Closed” sign’s blu-tack it would appear.

25. Explain story to H, and make mental note to look through pool door in future even if it says “POOL CLOSED”.

26. Swim, sauna, dry off with towel which is soaking wet because it’s already fully dried me once tonight.

27. Go home for home-made Rogan Josh. Yum.