I Smell Like My Girlfriend
by Stu

The perfume you wear has a pleasing smell.
It suits you well, but earlier
it rubbed off quick smart
when we cuddled to part, and
I now smell somewhat girlier.

When extricating one’s winkle
for a tinkle,
a button fly is number one.

The terror of the zip -
a little nip -
is gone.

But zips are fastened in a flash
when one needs to dash.
But buttons? Dream on.

A poem warning on the dangers of growing a beard:

Beard by Stu
Oh beard, I love you,
but you prevent me
from sucking a mug
to my face
when I am thinking hard.
Damn you.
Damn you to hell.
Damn you and your efficacy
in preventing facial vacuum.

I was munching on my apple today and I wrote a poem…

Apple by Stu.

Urgh!
I’m chomping
on swollen tree-genitals!

That is all.