When extricating one’s winkle
for a tinkle,
a button fly is number one.

The terror of the zip -
a little nip -
is gone.

But zips are fastened in a flash
when one needs to dash.
But buttons? Dream on.

We were out last night celebrating our sixmonthiversay by getting ourselves stuffed with a Greek-Cypriot’s hot meat. After that, it was on to the pub of ultimately dubious timing for a couple of games of darts, and to discover that we’re in there often enough for the barman to suggest our usual before we even speak.

Anyway… there was a new chap in there. We’ve met him before out on the street. He’s a terribly chatty chap, overly friendly you might say, but also most definitely harmless. He came out with a corker of a compliment for H…

“Excuse me… I’m going to say something personal right now… you must have just got out of the bath because you’re very acceptable to my nasal cavities. Very refreshing!”

What a charmer!

When planning your plumbing installation, know where your windows are in advance…

Seen in Näsinneula Observation Tower, Tampere, Finland.

This one’s been waiting to be blogged since June 2006…

Nice try, Lambeth council!

I know I blogged this before… but now I have the video done…

How very English…

This week’s theme: photos I’ve taken on my phone and forgotten about

I think his bill came to around £250. I’ve never seen a receipt so long…

This week’s theme: photos I’ve taken on my phone and forgotten about

I’ve never had a rebound actually stick in something before…

This week’s theme: photos I’ve taken on my phone and forgotten about

First, a map:

And then a little story…

1. Arrive at gym with H.

2. Walk from reception R to changing - gents GC and ladies LC.

3. Put swimming kit and change of clothes into locker, I can only surmise that H does approximately the same.

4. Go from changing room to workout area WO. H walks past pool window to do so. I have already walked past pool window.

5. Do workout.

It’s all going good so far, yes?

6. Do weights.

7. Go back into changing room. I go straight to GC. I do not pass pool, I do not collect £200. H passes the pool.

Still going well… but how come you keep mentioning the window to the pool?

8. Change into swimming kit.

9. Go into showers.

10. Have shower.

11. Head from showers towards pool. There is a door from the back of each changing room directly into the pool…

Hooray! Nothing can go wrong.

12. Read sign on pool door: “POOL CLOSED”

Oh bum.

13. Go back towards changing room.

14. Remember that one must dry oneself before entering changing room.

15. Go back to shower cubicle.

16. Dry off.

17. Dress, pack bag, leave changing room to go meet H in reception since the pool is clearly closed.

18. Walk from GC to reception R passing pool window.

19. See H swimming merrily around in the pool - but looking slightly confused as to why it’s taking me so long to change into my swimming kit.

Ah. Um…

20. Visit reception for explanation.

21. Have sheepish receptionist explain “Oh yes… it isn’t closed but we forgot to take the sign down”

22. Offer to take sign down on my way into pool.

23. Go back to changing room, unpack kit, change, blah blah blah.

24. And back to the pool, taking the sign down on the way. And also, accidentally, the “You must shower before you enter the pool” sign whose glue was slightly weaker than the “Pool Closed” sign’s blu-tack it would appear.

25. Explain story to H, and make mental note to look through pool door in future even if it says “POOL CLOSED”.

26. Swim, sauna, dry off with towel which is soaking wet because it’s already fully dried me once tonight.

27. Go home for home-made Rogan Josh. Yum.