You see this happy young couple…

Well, if they’d not been quite so distracted by each other, and had a little foresight, it would have all been ok…

I was listening to Radio 2 this morning on the short drive to work. I don’t normally, but Terry Wogan’s inane ramblings are preferable to Chris Moyles’ arrogant inane ramblings. Anyway, a piece of music came on and I listened with interest… sounds very much like Enya… didn’t realise she’s still around.

But as the singing came in, it wasn’t Enya. It was definitely a man. Must be Jon Anderson. He’s clearly managed to find his way home (see what I did there?). I was noting with interest how similar the music is between Jon Anderson and Enya, the same sorts of backing vocals and ethereal sound, but this one - another clue - had Mr. Anderson’s trademark bells in it, like on Olias of Sunhillow.

And then Mr. Wogan came on and said “Enya, there”.

So either Enya is turning into a man, or Mr. Anderson and Ms. Bhraonáin have merged in some strange progressive/new-age science accident.

I’m sure I had a point when I started this, but I think I’ve lost it somewhere along the way.

I went into B&Q and picked up a 12-foot length of 2 by 6. Only these days they call it a 3.6 metre length of 150×47mm. I then proceeded to the ‘Timber Cutting Service’ which was unmanned.

“Hmm…”, thought I, “I wonder if they cut timber lengths…”

So I checked the sign…

Timber Cutting Service

We will cut MDF, wood sheets and timber lengths.

First four cuts free, then 50p per cut.

Ok. A good bet. I wanted two four-foot lengths and the remainder cutting in half. Now let’s see… one four-foot length is 1 cut. Then another is 2 cuts. Then the third cut halves the remainder. Marvellous! It’ll be free as well.

I went to find a man. A man was found. The man came to the timber cutting service area and looked at my timber length.

“I can’t cut that”, said the man, “we only cut sheets.”
“Oh”, I said, “it says up there that you cut timber lengths.”
“Er… yeah… what do you want?”, he said.
“Two four-foot lengths and the remainder halved, please.”

“Um….”, he said.
“?”
“Um… er…”, he said.
“What’s the problem?”, I asked chirpily.
“I’m worried about the number of cuts.”
“Er… it’s three cuts, isn’t it?”
“Um… and it’s wet. I’m not cutting that.”, he said with an air of finality.

I then refrained from saying “Of course it’s f***ing wet, you stupid nonce, you store all your wood outside and it’s f***ing raining.”

What I actually said was “Ok, I’ll leave it”, and left him with a 12-foot piece of 2 by 6 timber to carry back outside into the rain.

I shall be back with my own saw and make a mess in their car park.

I bought some goods from Sainsbury’s. One of the items had a note on it:

WARNING! This product contains a security tag which is not microwaveable!

It’s a good job they warned me. I shall be sure to find and remove the tag before I microwave my new DVD.

Exactly twelve months from …

hold on…

erm…

NOW!…

I asked H if she would go out with me.

She said yes.

They have been the happiest twelve months of my life so far.

Thank-you, H.

Next time I bet five pints of beer on something, I think I’ll make sure I have some chance of being right.

The stupid thing is that it was I who raised the bet from a single pint.

Oh well, I’ve been allowed to pay it at a rate of one pint per week.

So… if you didn’t guess, we went to the Benelux countries for a spot of country-topping. Belgium, Netherlands and Luxembourg’s highpoints completed bringing, along with the UK and Japan, our total to FIVE countries.

The full writeup appears on The Intrepid Micra.

I didn’t allow the meta-anxiety stop me going up… I went for some real-life anxiety instead…

A selection of recent headlines from the BBC News website…

14-October 10:20 - Shares rise as confidence returns
16-October 11:33 - Global shares carry on tumbling
17-October 10:15 - Strong gains for European shares
17-October 11:37 - European shares lose early gains

I have a better idea…

Shares are up and down like a bride’s.. yo-yo until further notice

This headline will be applicable for at least a couple of months, maybe years, and the journalists can go and have a nice cup of tea and a sit down.

A little celebratory walk around the Long Mynd…

Route…

Bottom…

Carding Mill Valley, Shropshire

Up…

Light Spout Waterfall

Top…

The Long Mynd

Down…

Townbrook Valley

There’s a road over the top, so while the middle section, particularly around Light Spout waterfall was quiet, the bottom and top were both heaving with people. It was a glorious day for the middle of October, and a highly recommended route despite… are you ready for this… not being a county top! Can you believe it?

It was only after the trip I realised that this is the neck of the woods DogBoy visited in August. Ashes Hollow is the next valley along, coming out on the same top.