Dear H,

I did a search on your system for jelly flavours, and I wanted strawberry, but strawberry didn’t show up. Can you fix it so strawberry appears at the top of the list when I search for all jelly flavours?

Yours annoyedly,

A. Client

Dear A. Client,

There are thousands of jelly flavours and the system returns a selection according to your search criteria. By restricting your search to only red jelly flavours, strawberry will definitely show up. Or, if you’re sure you want strawberry, you can simply type ’strawberry’ in the flavour selector.

Yours helpfully,

H

Dear H,

I don’t want to type strawberry. Nor do I want to restrict my search. I want to search for ALL flavours, and for strawberry to show at the top of the list. Strawberry is, after all, my favourite flavour.

Yours unreasonably,

A. Client

Dear Mr. Client,

Would you like the moon on a stick, too?

Yours sarcastically,

H

Dear H,

Yes please, but make sure it’s waxing gibbous and the stick is made of silver birch.

Yours obliviously,

A. Client

It’s not every place of work where you can truthfully make a statement like that. Maybe I’ll stay a little longer… idyllic surroundings and the odd bit of rural excitement. They even made it onto the local radio station.

One was about the Penlee Lifeboat Disaster in 1981. The bravery of the crew of the lifeboat Solomon Browne who went to the aid of the stricken coaster Union Star. The crew understood the danger themselves to the extent that no two men from the same family were allowed on the call-out. In the end, sixteen lives were lost - the eight-strong lifeboat crew, five members of the Union Star crew, and three passengers - the Union Star captain’s wife and daughters.

Another blog was about the power of the folk music tradition. I was alerted to the story by the song Solomon Browne by Seth Lakeman who we went to see on Tuesday. Along with virtuoso violin and mandolin playing, Mr. Lakeman tells stories. Proper stories of real events. When in Dartmoor last autumn, we visited Jay’s Grave and Childe’s Tomb, both of which inspired Lakeman songs.

Yet another blog was about charity. Having a (retired) sea-faring father, one of my pet charities has always been the RNLI - they’re fixed on my Give As You Earn list for as long as I am in employment. I was pleased to see RNLI collectors at the Seth Lakeman gig, since it’s also his pet charity. And not forgetting a certain Mr. Omally who, I believe also does the odd thing for them such as biking round every single lifeboat station in Britain or something like that.

And all the time, I hadn’t yet read Scott J’s blog, November Witch, about another song-inspiring marine disaster.

As is common nowadays, I’m not sure where I’m going with this, other than to say… if you see fit, have a listen to Solomon Browne, read the story of the disaster, spend a few minutes thinking about the bravery of the lifeboat crews, and if you have the means, give a quid or two to the RNLI next time you pass a box.

Video coming soon. Well, if I get five minutes* on my peecee… life seems to be very very very busy at the moment.

(*actually it takes a few hours to edit down a 5 minute clip, and I have a set of wedding photos to sort out before I can even begin that)

All I can say is… “Oiii oiii oiii oiii oiiiiii!”

After cooling, I gave it a rinse through, and then washed it (separately of course) in the washing machine.

Unfortunately all the colour came out. It was a disaster.

I… wait for it… are you ready…

it’s really not worth it… all that effort for one poor joke…

I nearly DYED!

a) Super tough
b) Completely waterproof

I can now confirm that these claims are entirely valid. There’s still a load stuck to my arm despite a good night out and a long hot soapy shower this morning.

Before you start, the night out was last night not this morning. Only the shower was this morning.

Carrying a majority of the popular vote, Obama did especially well among women and young voters, who polls showed were particularly sensitive to the current climate of everything being f*cked. Another contributing factor to Obama’s victory, political experts said, may have been the growing number of Americans who, faced with the complete collapse of their country, were at last able to abandon their preconceptions and cast their vote for a progressive African-American.

Thanks to Lindsey for the link

I’m having some windows done at the moment. The chaps are pretty good… clean, friendly, doing a great job (touch wooduPVC). They’ve been in each day this week and made great progress.

Last night, when they left, they said they’d like to make a nice early start today, so would it be okay if they turn up at 8 o’clock? Fine, I said, I’m up and about by eight.

So a few seconds past eight this morning, I heard their van turn up and headed out the back to open the side gate for them. While I was there, I heard the doorbell. They’d obviously come to the front door. So I headed back in to the house, opened the front door and there was no-one there.

**CRASH**BANG**TINKLE** said the dining room. **JRRRRRGGGGGG** said a grinder. **CRASH** said the plaster and brickwork.

Before I’d closed the front door there was a mahoooosive gaping hole in the dining room.

Their tea-breaks are just as quick. Take cup. Drink tea. Get back to work.

Marvellous!